fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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