facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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