Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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