You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
