I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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