Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
