im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
