I don't usually arrange sex via text message
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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