I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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