I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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