Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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