I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
