I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
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