so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize