It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
