I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
