Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
