sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
