i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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