I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Small penises have feelings too.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
