Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
