Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
that is very illegal...i love you.
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