i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
