when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
