Four minutes until I can fart!
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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