Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
