your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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