So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize