what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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