you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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