Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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