i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
