Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
