Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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