sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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