just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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