:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize