And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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