Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize