It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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