If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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