it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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