1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
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