Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
