What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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