Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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