We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
