I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize