I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
