why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
