now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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