im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
