I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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