This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
