you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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