a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
