I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize