If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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