I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
