We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
